I filmed this video 3 times prior to this one but my phone crashed while saving every one of them so my ass is all red and painful by filming this one ๐ฆ hope you enjoy
I would like to catch up you all on whatโs been going on: Last few months OF became very mentally draining for some reason. It felt as if I had to constantly push my boundaries, do more, show more and live up to some kind of expectation. All while battling my own mental health and anxiety from school becoming harder and harder. I was so disappointed with myself for always priming to post and then rarely doing it that sometimes I wouldnโt even open and reply to messages on OF for over a week. I knew people paid to see something and instead were getting nothing. I felt like a piece of shit for all this. I really wanted to fix it lately. And then I got sick with Covid. When I finally started feeling better, working out again and stuff, my birthday was coming up and I told myself I would use this opportunity to start being consistent again. But I got sick again.. not with Covid but sick nevertheless. I invited some people over for my birthday and pushed through me being sick because I really didnโt wanna feel lonely and depressed on one day of the year that is supposed to be all about you. Cuz usually my birthdays are really shit. Drinking and smoking while having a sore throat was truly not the best idea. Throughout the evening I completely lost my voice. Itโs been 2 days now and I still can barely say a few words and sounding like a wheezing old squeaky toy lol. Iโll be okay tho. I will get better, I will focus on all you here more and I will make it up to all of you.
Iโve said this a million times already, but thank you for your support. You paying for my subscription means I donโt have to take on extra jobs to pay for my rent and food while trying to get education. Youโve helped so incredibly much and if I do end up getting up my degree next year, itโs gonna be thanks to you all supporting me on here and helping me not feel stress and desperate about how to make money.
About to head to bed! My semester is officially over. I handed in my last assignment today ๐ฅบ๐ thank you for everyone supporting me despite of lack of content. You mean a lot to me. I will be making so much content the next few weeks ๐ฅต yโall get ready